Bearded HipsterRecord
Store
Store
BH-001
Liner Notes
One email per release. What is in it, why it smells like that, and the room it came from. No streaks, no countdown timers, no “last chance” three times in a week.
Free US shipping · Every order ships with a free gift · Release 001 is open
Bearded Hipster · Washington DC
Beard oil, balm, butter, wash and wax — pressed one scent at a time and named for the rooms you actually spend time in. When a release is gone, it is gone.
You bought a beard oil. Now you own a cast-iron pan and opinions about coffee. No notes. Keep going.
Release 001 · Record Store
Cedar, warm dust and vinyl. Five products, one scent, one batch — and when the batch is gone, so is the record.
Cedar, warm dust and vinyl. It smells like flipping through a crate for an hour and leaving with nothing. Five pieces, one batch.
Beard Oil1 oz · jojoba · argan · castor$30
A2
Beard Balm2 oz · tallow · shea · beeswax$32
A3
Beard Butter4 oz · whipped tallow · shea$34
B1
Beard Wash8 oz · sulfate-free$28
B2
Mustache Wax0.5 oz · beeswax · tallow$16
The box, this release only. Free US shipping and a free gift, same as everything else.
Buy the box · $119The next four releases, paid once. That is $99 a box and $80 off buying four separately. Nothing recurring, so you are never billed for a batch that has not been made yet.
Get the Pass · $396A box every quarter, renewing on its own until you stop it. $20 off the one-time price, free shipping, free gift. Cancel any time.
Start standing order · $99 / 90 daysOne piece of the release a month, in running order — oil, balm, butter, wash, wax. Your five are set aside from the batch the day you join. Five months and you own the record, then it rolls into the next one.
Start the Monthly · $24 / 30 daysSold as a run. No restocks. Cancel any time.
Five releases. One live at a time, in the full five-piece range. We make the next one when the last one is gone.
Because a good batch is small, and a small batch runs out. We press one scent at a time, in the full five-piece range, and when it is gone we start the next one. No warehouse, no twenty-five jars sitting in a closet going soft. You get the batch that was made this month, not the one that has been waiting since spring.
Cosmetic care. Softens and conditions. No claims beyond that.
Nobody has ever walked into a room and thought "this smells of bergamot and sandalwood." They think: this smells like the good coffee place, or my grandfather's workshop, or that bar with the bad lighting.
So the releases are named after rooms. Record Store. Espresso Bar. Wood Shop. Dive Bar. Back Patio. The blend is built backwards from the room until it smells like being there.
The mustache takes wax and a comb and about four minutes you will never get back. You own a turntable and you are aware of what that says about you. Good. That is the joke and you are in on it.
Which is why the copy winks and the formulas do not. Everything in these jars is on the label, in percentages, before you buy it.
One email per release. What is in it, why it smells like that, and the room it came from. No streaks, no countdown timers, no “last chance” three times in a week.
The cover art, on a shirt. One per release, printed in the same run and retired with it — the same as the batch it came from.
Printing with Release 001